It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
