so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
