that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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