sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
