Having a random hookup so left but love u
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm always down for nudity.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
