maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
