drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize
