You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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