But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
