We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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