my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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