the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
