I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
