we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
