She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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