similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
