so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
