So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This is my gift to your gina
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
