I'm gonna have a badass scar
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
