on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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