how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
