Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
