Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
