I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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