youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
