Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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