We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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