Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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