I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
