It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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