The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
