i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
