Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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