Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
