According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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