I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
