Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
