Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
