dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
