I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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