She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Who put my cat in the fridge?
how does that bad decision feel?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
