Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
