Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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