I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i now understand why vodka
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
