I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
