drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
