I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
