I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
