i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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