You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
