We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
