I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
