yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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